Memories

SPOILERS- Season 5, Episode 20: The Devil You Know

Warnings: Language, violence and some drunken abuse, spoilers

A/N: As with all episode fanfics, I re-watched the episode while writing and even more importantly I'm not typing out the whole thing. If you've seen the episode you should have no problem following along, and if not why are you reading this when there's major spoilers?!

Disclaimer: Supernatural (c) Eric Kripke & Warner Brothers

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The Winchesters and their female companion Trinity had retrieved the first two rings off the Horsemen and now they believe they may be closing in on the third, Pestilence. Or so they thought. It turned out the lead they had was just a case of the Swine Flu and there were no other signs of the Horseman in that town.

As they left town the boys called Bobby and all he told them was to go East. Trinity was in the back seat with a map trying to see if she could figure out any kind of pattern when all of a sudden a man popped in next to her, “Say, I've got an idea.” “Holy shit!” Trinity yelled at the intruder's entrance. Sam swung around with the demon knife and drove it through the leather seat next to her. “Oh my God, what the hell?!” she yelled again. There was a knock on the car window and everyone got out. Trinity watched in confusion as the boys fought with the British man about being set up.

“I can give you Pestilence,” stated the older man. Dean took a breath, “What do you know about Pestilence?” “I know how to get him. That's got your interest doesn't it?” Sam looked at Dean, “Are you actually listening to this?!” Trinity stepped forward to get the brothers' attention, “Who is this guy?” She wanted to know what was going on. All she knew is that this man was a demon. She would have thought he was possibly something else except that Sam kept attacking him with the demon knife. Dean looked to her, “This is Crowley.” “Crowley? As in 'I hold everyone's contracts' Crowley?” she growled, narrowing her eyes.

Crowley looked her up and down, “Well, who do we have here?” “Trinity,” Trinity said while she glared at him, clenching her jaw in anger. He smiled, “Such hostility. Let me guess. You knew someone who made a deal?” “My mother,” she growled at him. “Ah, I see. Well hopefully it was for something worth her soul,” replied Crowley somewhat cheekily. Trinity clenched her fists and sneered, “You bastard. I don't even know what she sold it for!” “It was for you, my dear,” he said with a smirk. Her breath hitched, “W...What are you talking about?” “When you were sick. You were going to die. She sold her soul to save you. She was actually quite smart about it as well. The deal was to boost your immune system enough to cure you, which also would keep you from getting sick again. Haven't you wondered why you never get sick? I have to say, I wish I was the one that did that deal, it's rare to see such an intelligent human.” “You're lying! I was never dying! It was just a cold!” Trinity practically screamed, holding back tears.

“Oh dear, it seems you don't remember do you?” “Remember what?” Trinity tilted her head slightly in confusion, but still quite angry. “It was deadly pneumonia,” Crowley raised his hand and snapped his fingers near her head and she crouched down in pain, grabbing her head. “What did you do to her?!” yelled Sam. Crowley backed up a step, “Nothing really. Just allowed her to remember when she was young. Although it may take a little bit to kick in.” Trinity stood back up, wincing, “It's just a headache, find out what this bastard knows so we can leave.” She didn't trust him, he was a demon after all, but he had information that they needed and as much as she wanted him dead she wasn't that stupid.

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Time passed and Dean and Crowley went on their little adventure to find the demon that knew where Pestilence was while Trinity stayed behind with Sam. After Brady was brought to their hideout and Crowley left to “take care of some business” Sam had locked Dean in the bathroom and tied up Trinity so that neither of them could stop him from confronting his former best friend. She was pissed, but she also figured that she would have done the same thing if she was in his position. However, now Crowley had returned and they were about to get some answers from the demon when they heard snarling.

Trinity froze. She would never forget that sound. She didn't hear the guys talking about where the hellhound came from, she only heard snarling as memories of her mother lay on the floor, bloody and torn to shreds came to her. Dean and Crowley had left and Sam turned to see Trinity standing there in shock. “Trin?” he asked. No response. “Trinity?” Still nothing. Sam put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her face, “Hey, Trin come on. Snap out of it.” He shook her gently and she blinked. “Sorry... what do we do?” she asked him. He stood back up straight, taking his hands off her, “Dean went to get salt. Help me untie Brady.”

Then they heard crashing. Shortly after gunshots and Dean calling for them. Dean backed into the room cautiously, shotgun in hand. Sam looked up from untying Brady, “Salt?” Dean shook his head and looked forward again as there was more growling. Trinity backed up behind Sam. As everyone was trying to figure out what to do next, Crowley yelled from a room over. “Stay!” “You can control them?!” Dean yelled at him. “Not that one, I brought my own. Mine's bigger. Sic 'em boy!” Growls, snarls, and whimpers were all you heard after that as the hellhounds fought as well furniture breaking. Blood was being splattered all over.

The boys and Trinity worked quickly and barely got out of that room before the invisible dogs came barging through the wall ripping each other apart. Brady, Trinity, and the brothers ran to the car and saw Crowley was already waiting. Trinity quickly got in the backseat,closed her eyes and let out a breath of relief as the car started and they drove off.  When she opened her eyes she realized she was seated between two demons. She tensed up, not in fear but because she hated being this close to them without being able to kill them. The ride to their destination was extremely uncomfortable for her.

Luckily for her they didn't go too far, some back alley in the city. As she waited for the information they were promised Trinity leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. When Crowley was about to leave she saw Dean putting down salt, she knew what was about to happen. Brady's usefulness had just expired. As Sam spoke with Brady, Trinity walked over by Dean and looked at him then put her hand in his. Dean looked back at her then back to the scene and squeezed her hand. She wasn't worried about the demon or that they were killing him. They did this kind of thing every day, but killing this demon was different. At least for Sam it was. She was worried for Sam and how he'd feel after this was over. The two of them watched Sam, knowing it was something he had to do.

After it was over with, the three of them headed to a motel for the night. Shortly after settling in, Sam looked at Trinity, “Hey, what happened back at that house? You froze up.” “Oh, that...” Trinity frowned, “That was my first encounter with a hellhound since my mom died.” “I'm sorry Trin. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,” Sam replied concerned. She shook her head, “No it's fine. I haven't told you guys what happened. Maybe if I talk about it it will help.” The boys put all their attention on her listening to what happened.

*FLASHBACK*
A 15 year old Trinity was in her room upstairs in a two story house. It was a small house but perfect for two of them. Her mom was a single mother but they had enough to have a decent life. Trinity had just finished her finals for the semester that day and was listening to some music, dancing around her room. Then she heard it. The scream that would change her life forever.

Trinity sprung into action. She grabbed a partially sharpened katana from her wall and ran out of her room and down the stairs. An intruder wouldn't know that it wasn't fully sharpened or that she didn't exactly know how to wield it. As she got close to the bottom of the steps she heard a mix of growling, snarling, and sickening tearing sounds. She hadn't been expecting an animal. Her pace slowed and she cautiously looked around the corner into the kitchen.

Her eyes went wide in shock and fear. Blood was pooling on the tiled floor all around her mother. Her mother was laying still on the ground. There were large gashes that looked like claw marks all over her body and pieces of muscle and flesh ripped off of her in various places and bones exposed. She could see flesh being pulled from her mother's body as though someone or something was tugging on it, but nothing was there except for growling sounds. She felt sick at the sight.

Tears flooded her eyes and her hand went up to her mouth to cover any gasps that may come out.  She could barely tell it was her mother at this point. She dropped the katana and it clanged on the floor. The growling stopped for a second and there was no more ripping or tearing. Trinity thought maybe it was over but then there was a huff of hot air in her face and a growl. Her eyes went wide again and she took in a sharp breath; it felt like her heart stopped.

Adrenaline kicked in and she ran back up the stairs, into her room, and slammed the door shut, locking it. She grabbed the phone in her room and cowered into a corner. She couldn't breathe, her heart was pounding, and her eyes were blurry and stinging from tears. Shaking, she dialed 911 and put the phone to her ear waiting for someone to pick up, while trying to listen for growling.

Crying and shaking, Trinity managed to get her address to the respondent. It took almost 7 minutes for police to show up at her door. The front door was still locked, something that she hadn't checked and it had to be cut down. She heard the sounds of footsteps outside her door before they broke the lock off and came in to find her.  “Miss?” one of the policemen say. She lifts her head up and stares blankly into the man's face. Trinity had stopped crying by the time they arrived and now had dried tears down her face. “Miss, we're gonna need you to tell us what happened,” the man stated and she nodded slowly.

*PRESENT*
“It took me a while to try telling them what happened, but they didn't believe me,” Trinity said after she finished her story. Dean scowled, “Yeah, that's just how it is.” “What's worse is for a few days they thought I did it,” she replied sadly, looking down. Sam's eyes widen in shock, “What? Why?” “Because of the katana I left downstairs and that all our doors and windows were locked. After investigating more they decided it wasn't me, mostly because there had been no evidence of blood on the blade or on me and that a sword wouldn't have made those marks on her body.” “I guess that makes sense to jump to that conclusion,” Dean stated. Trinity nods in agreement.

“Why the hell did you have a sword anyway?” Dean asked with a taunting smirk on his face, clearly teasing her. Trinity chuckled a little, “I've been a fan of Anime for a long time and I wanted to learn how to use one.” “Ah Anime, very nice,” Dean replied with a sly smile. Sam rolls his eyes, “You just like the porn.” “You watch Hentai?!” Trinity exclaimed shocked. Dean looked at her confused, “What the fuck is 'Hentai'?” She sighs and rolls her eyes, “It's Anime porn. Not all Anime is porn, in fact the majority of it isn't you perv. I guess I shouldn't be shocked about you watching it though.” She sticks her tongue out at him playfully and he waves her off, ignoring the comment.

“Well anyway, after mom's funeral I packed up and left. I didn't have any family so my choices were either to leave or be placed in foster care. I felt like mom was preparing me to live alone...” she trailed off. Sam and Dean looked confused and Sam asked, “Why do you think that?” “For a couple months before she died she was teaching me things. Stuff that is usually done when you live alone and adult responsibilities. It was really weird.” The boys were quiet and just nodded.  Finally Dean spoke up, “Well I'm gonna hit the hay. It's been a long day and we need to be rested when we find Pestilence.”

With that the three of them decided to all go to sleep. The boys each had a bed and Trinity took the couch. She was shorter than both of them, so sleeping on the couch was easier for her. Plus this couch was fairly comfortable. As she slept she entered a dream.

*DREAM*
Trinity looked around the foggy area trying to find something, anything. It was winter and there was snow covering the ground. Then a house came into view. She walked to it and saw a little girl around 5 years old with red hair and a large man. The girl was outside in normal clothing, no type of jacket or snow boots and the man stood in the doorway of the house yelling at her. He was drunk.

“You! Stay out there until I say you can come in!” he yelled and threw an empty bottle at her. Luckily it missed. Trinity screamed at him, “Hey! You bastard leave her alone!” But it seemed as though he hadn't heard her at all. “What the hell?” she said to herself. The little girl flinched at the man yelling at her and was crying. The man went back inside and slammed the door shut, locking it.

The girl started pounding on the door, trying to convince him to let her inside. Trinity stared at the scene and a tear rolled down her eye. She wanted to comfort the girl but it seemed like she was invisible to them. Eventually, the girl gave up and sat on the steps of the porch shivering and trying to keep herself warm somehow. When she turned around Trinity's eyes went wide with shock and her mouth dropped open, “That's... that's me...”

The scene around her changed and now she was in a hospital room. Her younger self was in the hospital bed with IV's connected to her. Trinity turned and saw outside the room a doctor and young woman talking. “Mom!” she yelled before remembering no one could see or hear her. She walked closer to hear the two speaking. “I'm sorry Mrs. Young. Your daughter isn't responding to treatment. There's nothing we can do, her immune system is too weak to fight off the pneumonia,” the doctor told her mother sadly. Her mother started crying.

It seemed like another scene change happened, but Trinity was still in the hospital, only now her mother was on the phone with someone. “This is all your fault!” she screamed into the phone, “How could you do this to a little kid?! This is your niece! If your brother was still alive he'd flay you for this! I never want to see you again!” With that, she slammed the phone down on the receiver and began crying again. Trinity watched her mother cry. She wanted to comfort her more than ever, but all she could do is watch. A few minutes later her mother wiped the tears away and stood up. “There's still something I can do,” her mother said before giving her younger self a kiss and leaving the room.

*PRESENT*
Trinity woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. Her head was aching in the same way as when Crowley said he'd give her memories. 'That was no dream.... I remember it all now,' she thought to herself and felt tears roll down her cheeks. There was no way she'd be getting back to sleep now. At least not alone.  She got up from the couch and went over to where Sam was sleeping. She shook Sam gently, “Sam... Sam....”

Sam groaned and rolled over, gradually opening his eyes. He sat up on his elbows and turned the lamp on, “What's wrong Trin?” “Crowley wasn't lying. I remember what happened to me when I was 5.” She still had a few tears in her eyes. He scooted over and lifted up the blankets, motioning for her to lay down next to him. She got in bed next to Sam and put her face against his chest, crying. He reached up and turned the lamp off then wrapped his arms around her, petting her hair trying to soothe her, “Hey, it'll be ok.”

“My uncle... he is the reason my mom is dead,” Trinity sniffled looking up at Sam's face. Sam looked back, clearly confused by the new reason, “What do you mean?” “He was a horrible person. He locked me outside in the cold and that's how I got sick. I was dying... and that's why my mom sold her soul.” He hugged her tightly and rested his head on hers, “I'm so sorry Trinity.” She sniffled again and wrapped an arm around Sam, hugging him back. “You can stay here all night if you need to. If you want to talk about it in the morning we can,” he told her. She nodded into his chest, “Thank you.”

The next morning Dean had been the first to get up. After getting out of the bathroom he spotted his brother and Trinity in the same bed with Sam's arms still around her, “Woah! What the hell guys?!” The two of them woke up at Dean's outburst. She rubbed her eyes, “Huh..? What's wrong?” “The hell is this?!” Dean pointed at them both in bed. Sam stood up motioning his hands to show all clothes were on, “Calm down Dean. It's not what you're assuming.” Dean raised an eyebrow skeptically. Trinity sat up, pulling the covers off showing that she was also fully clothed, “I remembered things. Crowley didn't lie to me about why my mom sold her soul.”

She told both the boys exactly what she remembered and they both looked pissed. “I'll kill him,” Dean growled. Trinity slammed her hand down on the table getting Dean's attention, her voice laced with venom, “No! I will deal with him! Randy Young is my responsibility.”  A moment passed before Sam spoke up, “If your uncle was your dad's brother, wouldn't his last name be Donovan?”

Trinity shook her head, “My birth name is Trinity Young. Donovan is my mother's maiden name, so I use it.” “Oh.” “Plus it helped keep me off radars when I ran away.” The boys just nodded. There was more silence before Trinity spoke up again, “Right now we need to focus on getting the rings. So c'mon, lets get going.” Nothing else was mentioned about her memories as they packed up and got on the road to continue their journey.